I am sorry for what I said when I was scared
Remember a time when you were really scared, and you just could not think clearly? And I mean, you were really scared. It is not uncommon for someone in that situation to say or do something that they normally would not do. Why is that?
The scripture that I have really been meditating on today is
found in Romans 6.
I realized that I greatly misinterpreted the scripture when
it came to application in my life.
The scripture says, “What then? Are we to sin because we are
not under the law but under grace? By no means!” (Romans 6:15)
I had twisted it in
my mind to believe the lie that, “Jesus saves the sins from before you are
sinned, but if you sin when you are already saved, well then, that’s on you
because you should know better than to keep taking advantage of his grace.”
(That was not my conscious thought, but I realized that a lot of my actions and reactions were based as if that lie were truth).
Y’all, I gotta stop here for a second and preach to myself
that that is a works based mentality and is a way scripture is being twisted to
keep God at a distance and to keep us away from the Grace he died to give us.
I mean, why would His mercies be new every morning if we did not need His mercies every morning? Well, I guess I cannot speak for you but I need
His mercies every morning. (and He happily gives them to me too)
I tried to think of someone in scripture who knew God, and yet
sinned. How did God react? Honestly, there are a lot of examples of that. But my
first thought was Peter, one of Christ’s BEST FRIENDS and disciples. The story is found in Luke 22:54-62, but in summary, Peter straight up denied ever knowing Jesus. You
know, all those conversations, countless of laughs, serious moments, the
unceasing love and patience Jesus had shown to Peter, yeah according to Peter
in that moment, none of it happened. Nope, probably would not say he could even recognize
his voice. If I were to ask Peter why he had that reaction, I would guess his
response would be something along the lines of “I was scared, and I couldn’t
see the bigger picture”.
To me, that scripture breaks my heart and I cannot fathom what that moment must have been like for both Peter and Jesus.
But hello, I am Peter. I have had moments where the fog was so
thick in life, that if you had asked me in that moment about Jesus, I probably
would have said something along the lines of “I am not even sure I know him”. All the sweet and tender moments, the love, the comfort he had shown ME over my
lifetime, I probably would have denied, or dismissed as “It probably wasn’t
even God”. Why? Because the fog of my circumstances did not allow me to see the
bigger picture and I was so scared.
And how did Jesus react to Peter? Well after he kicked Satan
and all his little demons in the pants when he was raised from the dead (insert
applause, and victorious BOOYAH) …. He then went on to show only grace and
mercy to Peter. Peter reacted by receiving such grace. And I think the thing
that Paul is getting at, as far as turning away from sin is, Peter never denied
Jesus a fourth time. Why not? From the moment he received Grace, Peter was operating
out of that Grace shown to him. When one can turn to the cross and believe that righteousness was bought by the blood of Jesus and not from one’s own personal endurance to sin, the more one will live a more righteous life, unconsciously.
I experienced the EXACT same reaction from Christ when I went
to him and quicker than I could say, “Will you forgive me?” Jesus interrupted with
“I have already redeemed you”.
The teaching point on the scripture should not be the
turning away from sin part. Because, hear me out, turning away is only truly successful
when if flows out of gratitude of what the Grace of the Cross has accomplished
for us. I know that sin does not control me not because of my own personal
endurance not to sin, but because I cling to Grace instead of perfection.
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